I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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