Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
