She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
