I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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