I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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