I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
