a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
