I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The struggles of a small town man whore
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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