The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize