Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
