Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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