Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
