I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize