I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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