Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
