I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
