Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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