I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
