Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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