sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
