bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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