sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
