PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
