I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
