I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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