I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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