I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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