Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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