Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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