Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
