I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
