I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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