So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize