it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
