He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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