foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm always down for nudity.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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