At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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