They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize