So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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