his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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