Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize