i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize