HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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