yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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