How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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