Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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