is your mom at the bar?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
