discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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