i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
