hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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