Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize