pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
