Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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