the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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