is your mom at the bar?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize