Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
