Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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