Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had to cum in my sink.
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