Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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