Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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